Sharkagators (A Parody Of Teenagers By My Chemical Romance)
by Max Chronicle
Summary: A Lombax finds it funny. A Zoni finds it confusing. A Human is at the center of it all. Just what prompted this... I have no clue. But what the heck, should be good? Right?


Clank found the sight peculiar. Ratchet was standing outside their apartment's guest door, clearly showing evident signs of suppressed laughter: hand clutched tightly around his side, hunching over as if punched in the gut, and—although barely audible to Clank's audio receptors—that particular, unmistakable sound.

* * *

He had been in the middle of an intriguing show; it making its galaxy-wide debut when the doorbell rang. Not wanting to miss a single moment of the so-far exciting pilot, Clank waited for Ratchet to answer it, silently hoping that he would soon hear the familiar footfalls of the lombax. But as the seconds passed there wasn't a single sound to indicate that it would happen. Another ring of the bell forced Clank to sigh, making him scoot off the couch and speed to the door. Once he got there, he made quick work of the locks and opened the door.

A holo-clipboard was shoved in front of his face.

The tiny Zoni robot followed the path up, finding a deliverybot greeting him plainly.

"How may I help you sir?" Clank answered, trying his best to sound cordial. He succeeded, mentally sighing in relief as the robot continued without picking up on Clank's annoyance. What could he say? Sure this attitude was so unlike him, but this was quite the show. And he was _missing_ it.

"I have here two packages for Ratchet," the deliverybot began. "One Gadgetron Multi-Purpose Tool Cleaner." He passed the top of the two packages to Clank, who grabbed it and set it down next to him.

"And one box of Korithide Wrench Handlewraps." The deliverybot handed Clank the last package.

"Yes. Is that it sir?" Clank asked, setting it on top of the tool cleaner.

"Yep. Just sign here and you're good to go."

Clank took the holopen off the clipboard and signed his own name, indicating that the transaction occured. Accomplished, the deliveryman nodded, thanked Clank, and went on his way. After closing the door, Clank picked up the two packages and began to look around for Ratchet.

"Ratchet," he called, now wondering twofold where his best friend was. He went into the kitchen. Nope. The living and dining rooms were nopes as well. Before he left the dining room, he set the packages on the table and began to make his way for the stairs. Located in a hall adjacent to the kitchen, Clank began his ascent with hopeful expectations. Hopefully he hadn't missed too much. Clank turned right and ascended another flight, reaching the top step... much to his surprise.

There Ratchet was, standing outside their apartment's guest door, clearly showing evident signs of supressed laughter: hand clutched tightly around side, hunching over as if punched in the gut, and—although barely audible to Clank's audio receptors—that particular, unmistakeable sound. But what Clank noticed now in Ratchet's other hand was a holo-recorder.

"Ratchet?" He asked. Said lombax quickly looked up and raised his index to his lips. He then pointed to the door and gestured for the Zoni to come over. Curious, Clank proceeded, finally meeting Ratchet where he stood before the slightly open doorway to the guest bedroom. What could be so- _oh! Nathaniel's here._ But what was he doing that was so interesting it demanded the lombax's full attention... and that it required to be captured forever.

"He's going to do it again," Ratchet whispered, grinning like a fool. He looked down and fiddled with the recorder. Afterward, he reached out for the door and pushed it gently, allowing for more slivers of sunlight to enter the hall.

 _Funny. What was Nathaniel doing that was so funny it demanded Ratchet's full attention. And that it required to be captured forever?_

"Do what?" Clank asked. But before the lombax could answer, the human pressed a button, causing music to play, after which the psychic started to immeadiately sing.

...

 _They gonna sharpen their teeth_

 _And wait for you in the reef_

 _To make a luncheon out of you_

 _Because they sleep with a smile_

 _They know they're sly and vile_

 _So they can watch all the things you do_

 _..._

Very much surprised by such lyrics, Clank turned and pushed the slightly open door ajar, wondering just what in the universe Nathaniel was up to. It was here that the galactic duo could see the psychic playing a guitar, albeit materialized with his own mind. That would explain why it was a bright purple. With his head bowed low, Clank could see that the psychic's eyes were closed and that he appeared very much focused.

...

 _Because the sea is not yours_

 _There're all these boats in the moors_

 _Cause they got manners of keeping home clean_

 _They're gonna chomp off your heads_

 _Your carbon-bodies to shreds_

 _Another mark in the slaughter machine_

 _..._

 _I say all sharkgators scare the living shit out of me_

 _They could care less as long as someone's for lunch_

 _So jump in the sea or get the hell out of there_

 _Before they swallow you whole, but not me_

 _..._

 _The killer fish in the pack_

 _They always have someone's back_

 _You're gonna be next in line for sure_

 _So if you're swimming away_

 _Make sure you head for the bay_

 _Then make them pay for the scare, good and pure_

 _..._

 _I say all sharkgators scare the living shit out of me_

 _They could care less as long as someone's for lunch_

 _So jump in the sea or get the hell out of there_

 _Before they swallow you whole, but not me_

 _..._

 _Ohhh yeah!_

 _..._

To Ratchet, this was golden. To Clank, this was... not. In fact, the Zoni found this to be rather confusing. And the more he listened, the more his confusion grew, for he knew Nathaniel had a strong avoidance of those particular fish—almost bordering on phobia. So why was he singing about it? And what was more was what style of music he heard that added to his confusion—he couldn't identify it.

So, as he watched the psychic air-guitar and bound around the room, clearly oblivious to the fact that he and Ratchet were standing right in the doorway, watching every move he made, Clank could hear Ratchet stifling his laughter and could see him bent over with a hand on the wall, grinning like there was no tomorrow. Clank was going to say something to the lombax but was again interrupted by the psychic starting up vocals again. (Which the Zoni would admit wasn't Nathaniel's strong suit.)

...

 _I say all sharkgators scare the living shit out of me_

 _They could care less as long as someone's for lunch_

 _So jump in the sea or get the hell out of there_

 _Before they swallow you whole, but not me_

 _..._

 _All together now!_

 _..._

 _Sharkgators scare the living shit out of me_

 _They could care less as long as someone's for lunch_

 _So jump in the sea or get the hell out of there_

 _Before they swallow you whole, but not me_

 _..._

 _Sharkgators scare the living shit out of me_

 _They could care less as long as someone's for lunch_

 _So jump in the sea or get the hell out of there_

 _Before they swallow you whole, but not me_

 _..._

Winded, the psychic moved to the radio and turned it off, sighing heavily as he raised a fist in triumph.

"I DID IT!" Nathaniel cried out loud.

"Did what?"

Nathaniel whirred around immeadiately; Clank's sudden question giving him a jump. Upon seeing the galactic duo, the psychic's eyes widened in surprise.

"Uh... hey... guys," Nathaniel stuttered, hiding his hands behind his back, rubbing them unconsciously. He chuckled nervously. "What are you guys doing here?"

"I am missing an incredible show. Ratchet is laughing at you."

It took a moment for the the Zoni's words to sink in for the psychic looked between them with a questioning expression. Only after Clank's words were processed did Nathaniel narrow his eyes at the lombax. Ratchet, after shooting a brief but intense look at his pal, started running down the hall before Nathaniel gave chase.

"GET BACK HERE RATCHET! I'M GOING TO FEED YOU TO THEM!"

As Clank watched them leave his line of sight, he noticed the holo-recorder on the ground. Surmising that Ratchet dropped it when he booked out it of here, Clank picked the recorder up and saw the red light, indicating it was still taking in everything it saw. And with the way the recorder was facing, Clank couldn't help but laugh that laugh of his. In his opinion, he'd let everyone know that _this_ was worth missing the show for.

* * *

 **AN: (12-11-17) Edited.**


End file.
